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We Are Chosen: A Buffy Season 7 Game's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
We Are Chosen: A Buffy Season 7 Game

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[30 Jan 2006|01:16pm]

It's been a strange few days - although at least there hasn't been any mind-numbing terror, so I guess that's a start.

I took Buffy up on her offer of a place to crash. At the moment I'm sleeping on the sofa. I get a lot of neck cricks, but the knowledge that someone who can wield weapons is in the house is a pretty comforting thought. Of course, I've been trained to handle weapons. A little, anyway. But let's just say that co-ordination is not my middle name. Sometimes I wonder if the whole potential slayer thing is a mistake... But deep down I know it's not, no matter how much I wish it wasn't true.

Buffy looked really down. After a while I found out that her old watcher had probably died. How terrible. I sympathised, having experienced the same thing myself, but I wasn't sure how to tell her. So I just stayed quiet and out of the way as much as possible. Wasn't too hard. Everyone seemed pretty busy. Buffy said she'd think about helping me and Rhia with training, but that hasn't happened yet. I guess she has a lot on her mind.

Such as someone called Spike. Faith came back and said she'd seen Spike and he'd acted "wicked strange". I wasn't meant to overhear, I don't think - particularly since Faith went on to report that a whole bunch of nuns had been murdered - but that's one of the useful things about being quiet and shy. You can melt into the background and find out about stuff. None of it comforting. First, what sort of name is Spike? And what the hell is going on? Is nun-murdering par for the course in Sunnydale, or is this a sign of something worse than usual? I don't know.

Things haven't been all bad, though. I went along to Sunnydale High - it's a really nice brand new building - and registered there. Having school to go to makes me feel more focused. Like I have purpose. Obviously, I had to lie about why I'd moved here, but the school asked surprisingly few questions. I get the impression that Sunnydale schools are used to people joining... and leaving. There are about ten "missing" posters in the hallways already. Great. I'll just try to stay out of people's way, do my homework, and be back at Buffy's before dark. I know, I lead a glamorous life.

Still, at least everyone I've met so far has been nice. Xander in particular. He's gone out of his way to make us feel welcome, which is pretty generous of him, I think. You don't expect a guy to bother with sixteen year olds and care that they're doing ok. But he's been really nice to Rhia and me. And he's quite nice looking, though I guess that shouldn't matter. He's probably too old for me anyway.
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[16 Dec 2005|02:37am]

[ mood | numb ]

I should have known. I should have known something was up when he didn't check in but... I've been so preoccupied with Spike a-and Dawn and the Hellmouth, I--

I got a phone call this morning. From England. When the weird-sounding lady asked if I'd accept the charges, I was so relieved. I thought that finally he was contacting us, telling us that he knew what was going on and that all these dead girls were-- That it would stop. That we could stop it because that's what we did or do or...

The Watcher's Council got blown up two weeks ago. A few survived but everyone in the building-- Giles was staying there. Trying to figure out what was happening. The guy on the phone told me he was sorry for my loss, that they found something of his there and there's little hope that he survived.

I don't... I have no idea how to do this. I don't know that I can tell Dawn again or Will or Xander. And the girls. They're looking for me to lead them, to help them not die and this-- This thing that's coming has eliminated our best chance of beating it.

How do I do it? How do I tell them all? How do I face whatever's coming when I know that the man who was more like my father than my own is gone?

[ Open to any at the Summer's residence. ]

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Robson and other new changes [11 Dec 2005|12:10pm]

Something was happening here. And everywhere. The watchers and the "potential" slayers that had been found were being murdered. Murdered. Too tame a term. Butchered, systematically. I've got to get back to Buffy, but I need more information.

I knocked on Robson's door, knowing he had a potential himself. As I knock, the door creaked open. I could see blood. And smell it, that's how much was laying about. The potential was dead, I knew without checking, but Robson. I rushed over, and knelt down.

"It'll be okay, just hang on, I'll get help." He clutched at my hand, and gurgled "It's started". I started to ask him what, when the floor creaked behind me. I turned quickly enough to drive my own dagger quickly into the heart of the murderer. He'd come about a hairs length of taking my head.

I called the aid car, though he was passed out at this time, and waited for them to arrive. While they were saving him, I was able to slip out the door. They'd have questions, and I didn't have the answers. Plus, there were things to do and places to be.

At home, I got the files together I'd "appropriated" from the Council. Names of other girls, plus I had the coven working to find more once I heard the killing was on. Information about the evil, and the same words appeared again, and again "From beneith you it devours".

I had to save as many girls' as I could. They needed to be taken to the safest place possible. Sunnydale.

I didn't have time to sleep, I had to go.

On my way to the first stop, an explosion rocked London. And just like that, the watchers council was no more.
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Life, or my lack there of [11 Dec 2005|11:57am]

Work seems to be my life at the moment. The new highschool isn't quite finished, so it's a constant source of work. And I do enjoy being the supervisor. Xander in charge, who'd have thought?

But there is still the worries. Something is coming, and it's something bad. And I don't mean Faith, she's already here. We haven't heard anything from Giles for weeks, and to me, that seems strange. He checked in at least once a week. And he said Willow had to come home, but that she wasn't done.

What's that about? I mean, I love Willow and I trust her completely, but part that involves just a little worry. After all, she's been my best friend forever. And I don't want to lose that.

Buffy's been acting just a little odd. She won't say why though. It's worrisome. But then again, would it be life in Sunnydale without worry? Not a chance.

Time to head back to the house, and see what's up.
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[07 Dec 2005|06:49pm]

Considering this had been the worst two weeks like, ever, today was going surprisingly well. Although Rhia was really rich and maybe kind of snobby, I was really pleased I'd met her. It felt nice to have someone around who really understood how scary it was to have people try to kill you. I mean, Faith understood, but considering she had super strength it didn't bother her so much, I would think.

So after having had quite a good night's sleep, Rhia and I went out to breakfast. Another good thing about Rhia? She paid for our food. I swear I have not eaten so much food in months. Normally I just like cornflakes for breakfast, but since all I'd eaten for two weeks seemed to be Twinkies and MacDonald's, I was really happy to eat a big plateful of bacon and pancakes. I'll have some vegetables later, I promise.

We thought we should go over and see Buffy, but then I pointed out that when I'd arrived yesterday, I'd been too early, so probably trying to see her at 9 am wasn't that great a plan. I mean, she probably has a job. I decided to stop by the high school. Quite a nice place. Brand new, I think, and with great facilities. I went to the office to ask about what I'd need to register. Details of my old school, apparently, a parent or guardian's signature on the enrolment form, and a permanent address. That last part could be tricky. I can forge a signature, but I can't give my address as Hotel Sunnydale. I don't expect Buffy to offer me somewhere to live, and although Rhia's been really hospitable, I can hardly expect her to rent a house with me. Maybe I should give up on the idea of graduating this year. I don't know. It's hard. Everything is hard right now.

Rhia looked quite bored as we looked around the school. I'm sure her old alma mater was really posh and old. Course, it could also be because she's with me, and I was wearing a hideous Welcome to Sunnydale T-shirt I'd bought in a gift shop for $5, because my clothes are filthy from two weeks on the road. I look like a big touristy dork, whilst she looks really pretty and classy. She's the kind of girl you can't help looking at, you know? But I don't know why I'm thinking about that.

Later on in the day we decided to head over to Buffy's house.
"Well, if they thought it was weird yesterday when I showed up, imagine what they'll think when I bring you," I said to Rhia. "It's like I'm reproducing." I laughed dorkily. Yeah, I'm so cool.

((Open to anyone at the Summers house, plus Rhia of course))
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[09 Nov 2005|12:48pm]

After Buffy left, I felt calmer. I understood that she had to go. A lot going on, I reckon. Can sense it in her. And I can sense it around me. Things rising.

From beneath you it devours.

But those words don't clang such a death toll in the pit of me now. No; I feel stronger. I wept weakly and cravenly and she was there, and I felt... stronger. More like me. Not all the way yet. Got a long road to travel, but... She gives me strength. She told me she saw me, and she didn't run away. What can frighten me truly when there are words like that?

I looked around my ruined crypt. All burned down. I understood why I did it, though I perhaps should've had some foresight and worked out a new home for myself before I went and burned the ruddy place down. Not that it'd be the worst place I'd ever slept in. Still, it might be time for me to think about pitching up somewhere else. It'd do for tonight. The roof was made of stone, after all, so that hadn't come down. I wouldn't burst into flames. Tomorrow night, though, I'd have to think. It was sort of nice to be thinking about making plans instead of just... feeling.

I went out into the night. Walked for a long time. I can still feel the spark in me. Sort of like having a heartbeat. I wish my heart beat. It'd just be nice to have that thump keeping me company in the dark. It's strange to have a body so silent, I think. Never really thought much about it before. But then, I've thought about a lot of new things in the last few months.

I walked to the outskirt of town when I smelt it. Blood on the air. Blood mingled with the smell of magnolia blossoms. The blooms glowed under the moonlight, poking through the gate of a Mission. I pushed it open and stepped inside.

Bodies. Everywhere. Some were old women, others barely more than girls. Their habits were stained with blood. My hunger rose, and I hated myself for it. I stared at their bodies for a long time.

((Open - to someone on patrol/Caleb/anyone who can possibly be in the area!))
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[07 Oct 2005|02:44pm]

I open my eyes blearily. Thin light is coming between a gap in the curtains. I feel bewildered for a minute. Where am I? The fog of sleep clears a little and I remember. Buffy, Rhia, the hotel. Sunnydale. Yeah.

I crawl off the bed. I feel really stiff. I glance over and see that Rhia is asleep on her bed, the sheets pulled over her. I'm still wearing my clothes. I roll my shoulders and wonder why I'm so stiff. Surely I've just had a nap?

I walk over to the window and look out. It's pretty bright outside. We have a beautiful view of the car park, which I guess at least means Rhia can keep an eye on her car. But wait - it's too bright. I met Rhia in the late afternoon.

I look up at the clock. It says 6, but now I'm thinking that it's six in the morning, not six at night. I've been asleep for about thirteen hours. No wonder I'm stiff.

My stomach rumbles, confirming my thoughts. I think the last thing I had to eat was yesterday morning. I open the mini bar and find a bag of M&Ms and a Mars Bar. I tear open the M&Ms and pretty much pour them into my mouth. Nothing has tasted this good in months.

I take the Mars Bar and go into the bathroom. It's pretty large, with a huge bath. I close the door and take off my clothes, which are, frankly, kind of gross now, because I've been wearing them for two days straight.

I turn the bath taps on and watch the water flow into the tub. There's a bottle of bubble bath on the side. Magnolia Spring, it's called, and whilst it doesn't smell all that much like magnolias it is kind of sweet and pretty. I decide to pour half the bottle in. The hotel will restock it.

I climb into the water, which I've kept just on the comfortable side of hot. It feels wonderful to be in a bath. I love baths. Geoffrey would always tell me off for using up all the hot water because I'd soak in the bath so long. This last fortnight, if I've been able to wash at all, it's been in motel showers which drip rather than spray, with only a bar of soap to wash myself and my hair. This hotel has freebie shampoos and things on the side, thank God. I can wash my hair thoroughly, I realise with some excitement. And then it hits me - I'm excited because I have shampoo, and I'm sitting in a strange bathroom in a strange town and the fact that I can wash my hair is one of the best things that has happened to me in weeks. And I start crying.

After I finish, I feel a lot better. I feel cleaner inside, somehow. The pain is still there, of course. How could it not be? Geoffrey died only a couple of weeks ago, and that man was closer to being my father than my own handsome, useless male parent could actually have been. And I miss the fact that I've had to leave my school behind, and all my old friends - not that I had that many, but there were a couple I liked, and I suppose I could call them but what would I say? And I feel bad that I've left all my clothes and books behind, which is shallow, I suppose, considering what's happened, but they were mine and I loved them and I'll never have them again. But despite all this, the grief feels more manageable now. It's like I've lanced a boil, and the poison has leaked out and now I'm left with a wound that's still there, but it's healthier.

I wash my hair and lie back in the bath and eat a Mars Bar while I'm lying there, because I can. Then I get out, rinsing out the bath carefully, because I know I've made it a bit grimy. There's a bathrobe in plastic wrap on the towel rack. I break the packaging and slip it on. I look down at my clothes and wrinkle my nose. I won't put them on right now. I think of the other two outfits I managed to pack and wrinkle my nose again. They're not exactly fresh, either, but what do you expect when I had to move to a new town each day? The only thing I had time to do was rinse out my underwear each day, because I may be a fugitive but dirty knickers are just gross.

I finally leave the bathroom. It's now seven. I sit down on the bed and see that Rhia has opened her eyes.

"Hey," I say. "I ate your mini bar sweets. I hope you don't mind."
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[06 Sep 2005|04:08pm]

Welcome to Sunnydale.

The quaint little sign by the side of the road flashes past me and I'd like to say that I relaxed a little. Except I didn't. I was as tense as ever, over the past few days, however long it was. Frantically driving across the country to California, to a place that I'd never seen and only heard of once. Without a real goal except 'get to Sunnydale'.

Why? I don't know. It didn't make any sense to me. But it was the one thread I had to hang on to and when I had the chance to get the fuck out of New York, I took it. Sunnydale. My lifeline.

I was at boarding school in upstate New York at the time. My senior year, I'm seventeen. Almost legal. I liked to go down to the city to party on the weekends. The school frowned upon that, but my parents were paying them loads of money from the mother country, so they could frown all they wanted. I wasn't more trouble than I was worth, because I was worth a lot. So I went down to the clubs. No big deal, right?

I knew people. Lots of people. I was pretty popular, if I do say so myself, which I do. I knew this one girl... I don't even want to think about it. She wasn't really my friend but we hung out together sometimes, saw each other occasionally, went to the same clubs. One time, I saw her get into a fight with some guy. Not like a physical fight, they were just arguing. I figured he was her father or guardian or something, but I eavesdropped anyway. Sue me. It saved my life.

He wanted her to get out of town. "Go to Sunnydale," he said. "You're not safe here." Then something about potential, and some girl named Bunny or Muffy or something. Weird name. My friend refused to go.

The next weekend, I saw her die.

These guys in black robes came after her as she left the club. I followed her 'cause I was gonna ask for a smoke, and I saw it. Well, sort of. I don't remember most of it, and I ran away as fucking fast as I could. I didn't think they saw me.

I didn't go down to the city after that. Stayed at school on the weekends. I was pretty freaked out, but thought I was safe. That school had security up the arse, nothing gets in. A couple of days later, the guys in robes came after me. Security held them off, but I got the hell out of there fast. I don't know what they want from me, maybe they saw me that night. I don't know. But that night, I grabbed some shit and ran. The school let some upperclassmen have cars, it was like a status symbol. Whose parents are the richest.

I jumped into my little Jetta and drove across the country. I slept about every other night, and I wasn't tired, anyway. Running on adrenaline and fear. And now that I'm in Sunnydale, I don't feel any better. What do I do now?

I drive into town, park the Jetta on the main street and get out. Ooh, look, a coffee place. I could use some coffee. I've lost track of the days I spent on the road. I feel like shit. I probably look like shit. I dragged myself over to the coffee shop, got something big and wam and caffeinated and sat down at a random table. Time to figure out what to do now.

(Open to anyone, basically.)
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[04 Sep 2005|11:19pm]

[ mood | uncomfortable ]

"I shall carry a light in a dark place and it shall consume me."

"I have to be here, where it's dark. Yes. Where they come, my dead, and talk to me. Tell me what I deserve."

"From beneath you, it devours."

Watching the sunlight fade as I walked back from Spike's crypt was a new thing Buffy-wise. I'd spent most of last year walking away from Spike's crypt just as the sun started peeking over the horizon, my skin still tingling with the things we'd done the night before as I tried to get home before my friends realised that I hadn't been home all night. Home before Dawn got up and realised my bed hadn't been slept in.

I'd been ashamed.

I followed the same route as I walked away from Spike's crypt, the same as I'd done all those mornings last year. Passed by the same houses that I had then and wondered if anyone looked out, would they know what I'd been doing? Would someone be able to see?

I felt it again. Shame. But tonight it was different.

I went over every word he'd said on the short walk to my house. Went over every wince, every beat of my heart as I realised I was standing in front of someone who'd tried to force his intentions on me in my bathroom, a man - not a monster - who I'd trusted. A man who I'd let myself lower my defences with.

"Do you know how many girls I killed? Girls like Dawn? And you trusted me with her. God."

I blinked at that, my eyes blurring. I wasn't sure what to think. Spike was... Unstable, crazy. If he got out then-- He'd promised he wouldn't. He promised that he'd wait there for me, that I wouldn't find him gone again and I believed him. I just didn't know how to begin approaching this with my friends.

I turned onto my street, thinking that saying "hey, guess who's back?!" was probably *not* the best way to start this conversation, and raised when I saw Dawn sitting with a girl I'd never seen before. "Geez, one day and you're making friends already?" I asked, forcing a note of happy-smiley-Buffy into my voice, "Even I didn't do that."

I turned towards the girl, took in her appearance for a moment and almost had to have a moments pause. She looked like a student, I guessed, but I really hadn't seen her round anywhere and sue me but I was pretty compelled to *not* trust exchance students since the last one had tried to suck the very life force out of my best friend. "I'm Buffy," I told her, "Dawn's sister? And you are..."

(Open to any at the Summers' house)

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What happens now... [31 Aug 2005|12:22pm]

Willow's vision has been bothering me since she left. "From beneith you it devours". The hell-mouth is going to open, and all number of nasty things will be heading out. I know some of the potential slayers have found their way to Buffy's house. What I haven't told her yet, is that they're dying.

We've lost a goodly number of the potientals that had been found, and had watchers. Not to mention the countless others that we can't begin to know about, that have yet to be identified. I tried to talk to the council. The bloody gits wouldn't give me the paperwork I needed. Had to go through "red-tape" they said. I say Bull. They have information and are too afraid to share it.

I'm afraid my past got the better of me though, and I was able to get in, and find the specific information on the Hellmouth I thought Buffy would need. But first, I have a job to do. I need to find out how the girls here are, and help if I can. Here in England alone, we have at least four girls', already assigned to watchers.

We've had one in Istanbul die, and another in Germany. I don't know how many other's will have to suffer. So all I can do is try.

I put in a call to Robeson today. He said to visit, that he had information, so that's the plan for this evening. I hope he knows more than I do.

I hope we find an answer. Or more girls' will die. Dear lord, Buffy will die. Again.
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[31 Aug 2005|10:36am]

Stalking my way through the dark, the girl on my tail. Tunnels of black and filth, the right place for me. Snaking their way under the town, into its dark heart. Its open jaw.

But I was moving away from that. The air was thick and foul, but I felt a lightness. A fog... A fog over me was lifting. It seemed I could see clearer, away from that place, where hissing things crouched and reminded me of my sins.

We had come to a place. Familiar. My place. The crypt, of course. I was remembering things. It was easier to think out here; it was as if I'd been breathing tar but now there was sweet air.

"Buffy," I said, turning to her, feeling for a moment such perfect clarity. "I've gone mad, haven't I?"

But the clouds came rippling back. They always do. And then there was confusion.

I lay on my bed. She was there, the girl, the one who... The one. But I slept, and when I woke she was gone, of course.

Night time now.

I looked down at myself. Unclean. Dark. There was a fistful of dollars in my pocket. I went out into the town. Bought clothes. They were white, like snow. Like the innocence I wished I still had. Even in my evil I was somehow innocent, because I didn't really know what I know now.

Guilt. Regret. Those aren't big enough words for it. Not wide enough, not strong enough. But it's a start. When I was evil, my actions had no consequences, not really. Not like now.

I knew what I had to do. I went into the crypt, filled with all my things. The bed where I had... with her. That would be first to go. I lit the matches.

Outside, in the dark, I watched the flames lick the interior of my crypt. Consume it. After a while, the fire died down. Only the stone left, the cool stone of the tomb.

I stepped inside and looked around. Great piles of ashes. I looked down at myself, my new white shirt. It was grey with ash. No matter how hard I try to be clean, the dirt just shows through. I laughed. My head felt clearer again, surveying the wreckage of my old life.

"I have gone," I said, to nobody in particular, "bloody mental." And I laughed, feeling for a moment almost like a normal man.

((Open for Buffy after she goes home - this is the evening of the day Willow has returned, in case anyone has lost track. The First can piss Spike off a bit too if it wants.))
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Something Wicked This Way Comes [29 Aug 2005|12:50pm]

[ mood | chipper ]

It was dark beneath the thick trees that surrounded the highway. The branches intertwining overhead until the moon itself was blotted out of sight. The old truck rambled on down the road like a faithful dog following his master's scent. The priest leaned back in the seat, letting the cool breeze blow on his face coolling the religious fever that was burning in his soul. He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel feeling the old plastic creak under his power. He could still feel the joy of joining with his master tingling all over. "I do so love you," he said into the darkness. "I was lost until I found you. Now, I'll bring others to you, and the truth shall set them free."

His dark eyes flickered over the knife on the front seat of the truck, the shining blade catching the dim light from the radio with every bounce. The blade was stained with Shannon's blood, and would have to be replaced when he got the chance. Caleb turned the stereo up louder, hearing the First's words in the static that came from between the ocassional station that could be heard coming up the back roads to Sunndale. Her words guided him, and he slowed down. He flicked a button on the old AM, and heard a voice clear as day telling him he had arrived even before he saw the Welcome to Sunnydale sign.

"Honey," he said to the clouds over head. "I'm home." He drove through town, past Sunnydale High School, the call of the Hellmouth, and through the neighborhood after neighborhood until he came to the old Sunnydale Mission*. He licked his lips as he climbed out of the truck with a large machete in hand. The First had told him this was the place to make his first statement. Nothing like a little destruction of sacred property to brighten his day. The best part? There was a convent school attacked full of novice nuns just waiting for his call. "Wonder if any of them are Potentials?" he said laughing to himself, as he blasted open the Mission's door with the First's power.

((*Most towns in California have old missions built by the Spanish when they owned the lands. Pretending Sunnydale has one too))

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[25 Aug 2005|10:18pm]

I'd been sitting on this couch for quite a while now, trying to make some conversation but not intrude too much. It was a difficult balance when I didn't know any of these people, and there seemed to be a lot of tension in the air.

I looked around, judging them carefully, trying to weigh up what I'd heard about them and what I'd observed so far. I wished Geoffrey were here. He was good at this kind of thing. Besides, he always knew loads of Council gossip. That was how I knew anything at all about Buffy and Faith and the rest. Many of the Watchers didn't discuss such things with their Potentials, but Geoffrey, despite being a bit of an old stick in the mud, did like to tell me slightly shocking things, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses as he handed me a digestive biscuit.

Suddenly, the realisation that I was never going to see him again made me gasp. It wasn't getting any easier. I kept getting this feeling, this sudden shock, knowing that the closest thing I had to a father was dead. It had only been a couple of weeks, what did I expect? That I'd get over it? That wasn't going to happen. Not for a long while, if ever.

I blinked back tears and looked down at my hands, hoping no one had noticed. They all seemed busy trying to be friendly to each other. Xander and Dawn seemed genuinely pleased to see Willow, but were a little awkward around her. That was understandable, since from what I understood she was a witch and she'd done something terrible. Really, really terrible, and she'd been sent away somewhere to... recover? Was that the right word? And Dawn was only barely being civil to Faith, which again made sense. I'd heard of Faith years ago, her murderousness. A cautionary tale for Potentials, she was. But she seemed ok to me.

After a while it became clear Buffy wasn't going to appear any time soon. Dawn had said something about her dealing with something. She's the Slayer - well, one of the two - and so I guess she has a lot to do. I stood up awkwardly.

"Um, I think I'll be going," I said. "Thanks for the, um, snacks," I said, looking guiltily down at the nearly empty bowl of trail mix. Considering I'd only eaten a muffin all day, it wasn't surprising I'd demolished the food, but still, it was kinda rude. "I'll, I'll come back later, maybe. When Buffy's home. I don't want to intrude, you know, on your hospitality." I smiled awkwardly.

I stepped outside on to the front porch, tipping the contents of my wallet into my hand. I had enough money for another two nights at the motel. After that... Well, maybe somewhere like Doublemeat Palace was hiring.

((Open if anyone wants to head outside with Becca))
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[11 Aug 2005|08:32pm]

I glanced nervously at the watch on my wrist once again, it showed I had been waiting in the pickup area at the airport for close to forty-five minutes. I really did not have the courage to call and have someone on the other end pickup and tell me something I did not wish to hear.

Waiting five more minutes I finally reached down, lifting up my travel bag, I started for the automatic doors that would lead me outside. Once there I hailed a cab and after my bag had been tossed into the trunk I slid into the back seat and gave the driver the address of Buffy's house.

I glanced out the window of the cab as the driver pulled the vehicle up to the curb outside the Summer's home. I slowly stepped out from the cab as the driver got my bag from the trunk, setting it down by my feet. After being paid, he got back into the cab and drove off down the street, leaving me standing alone at the curb.

It seemed so long ago that I had been here and I had to wonder if my friends would indeed welcome me back, they had not met me at the airport and I seriously wondered if perhaps that was a sign of the direction our friendship had taken. Sighing deeply I finally picked up my bag and started, what seemed like an endless walk, toward the house.

After a slow climb up the stairs I reached the door, hesitating a moment before a finger was lifted to the doorbell, pressing lightly on it, my hand slowly lowering to come to rest at my side as I took a step back from the door, waiting a bit anxiously now for someone to answer the bell.

(Open to those at the Summers' house - Xander, Dawn, Faith, Becca and Buffy when she returns.)
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Dawn, and surprisey goodness..I think at home [01 Aug 2005|04:09pm]

I got to the gym, and picked up the Dawnster. After all, no one likes Gym anyway right?

Buffy had something slayerish to do, and I figured I'd get it out of Dawn. She seemed kinda shaken though. Seems the school was given my name as someone who could pick her up, and the gym teacher didn't even question my being there.

"Let's go," I smiled, and we walked out to the car.

"I hope everything is okay. What's up?" She was somewhat quiet in the car. I wondered if Buffy told her not to tell. That'd be just like her, leaving the Xandman out of something if she thought I'd get hurt. HA! I run a construction company now, I can take almost anything. Except slugs. But there aren't that many slug demons around.

Didn't take long to get to the Summer's house. I parked and smiled at Dawn.

"So, should be raid the kitchen? Anything chocolate in there? I'm in the mood for some..." I trailed off, as I looked up at the porch.

"Were we expecting company," I said, my eyes on Faith. I got out of the car, and waited for Dawn before going anywhere near the porch. This, was unexpected. And maybe a bit scary. She only tried to kill me.

(we can continue here if you like: Open to Dawn, Becca, Faith, Xander, and whomever else ends up at the Summer's house)
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[19 Jul 2005|11:03am]

After a few moments of hesitation and listening to the driver beep his horn once more I grabbed the handle of my suitcase, the strap of my carry-on resting on my shoulder I walked the short distance from where I had been to where the taxi was waiting to take me to the airport. I had already said my farewells to Giles and a few of those in the coven who I think I become friends with.

Letting the driver take my bags from me so they could be placed in the trunk of the taxi, I opened the back door of the cab and got in. I think every moment it got to my arriving back in Sunnydale, the more nervous I became. Buffy, Xander and Dawn knew of my arrival time, but I still wasn't sure if any of them would be there when my plane landed.

The flight from England back to the States was a restless one, for me at least it was. I could not keep the thought of my best friends not wanting me back from creeping into my thoughts. Giles had said that they may not want me, a part of me had been thinking that as well, but he told me I would be needed and that alone made me realize I needed to go back.

After the wheels of the plane touched the paved runway and then came to a complete stop, the door of the plane was opened and people began disembarking, which I was one of.

Inside the airport itself I headed over to baggage claim to collect my single suitcase. While waiting for my suitcase to come around on the conveyor I kept glancing around with the slim hope that I would be met by my friends.

(Open to Buffy, Xander, Dawn and Faith after everyone is done with their current threads :) )
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[11 Jul 2005|08:58pm]

Everything inside me...

Broken. Except for the spark. The spark's the only whole thing left. It's what's broken me. Funny that. I thought it would complete me. But no; it just burns and burns and there's no me left.

Except for the memories. Oh yes, Spike had been a naughty boy. I get reminded all the time of that. Dru waves her finger at me, laughing fondly. Don't you know you were meant to be wicked, Spike? It's in your nature. I saw it in you. Something glistening and effulgent.

Maybe I wasn't meant to be like a man.

I did it for... her. To be the kind of man who wouldn't... Who couldn't. But I feel more wicked than ever. All the things I've done weigh on me now. I remember the taste of their blood and tears and sweat, the sight of their cooling bodies. It's all so clear to me.

The Bit was here. Fragrant as a bloody rose. I wondered if I'd killed her. Only the dead crouch down with me in the dark. But I could hear her pulse. Soft and throbbing and I wanted to tear her throat out, but I don't. I care about her.

I think this is what I deserve. This punishment. Almost feel sorry for the crap I gave Angel. This is hell, he was right. Every day. And I earned it.

A noise in the darkness. A voice. Which of the dead have come to haunt me now?

((Open for Buffy once she's finished up with Xander and Dawn))
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[08 Jul 2005|12:27am]

I woke with a start as a twig cracked near my head. Jumping to my feet immediately, I brandished my stake at a vicious...squirrel. I blinked and looked around, trying to get my bearings. Really fast reflexes aren't that great when it takes your brain a while to catch up with them. I tucked my stake back into its hiding place as I put sunlight and vamps together and got zero. Where the hell was I?

Gradually my brain woke up and I remembered the craziness of the previous night, which had ended with me crashed out in this bush on the side of the road. A fairly deserted road, fortunately, or I might've been woken up by something a lot bigger than a squirrel. Though really, there's nothing like a dusting to get your day off on the right foot.

Not that this day could really have a right foot. I remembered where I'd been and where I was headed, not really loving the thought of either. I considered my options for half a second. Nope, no way in hell was I going back to the big house, especially not after those scarface dudes with the big-ass knives joined me behind bars. Could tell those guys were blind, though, since they hit every single one of the guards and not me. Unless that's what they meant...naaaaah.

I shrugged and started walking, automatically turning in the direction of what still felt like home base to me, Revello Drive. No way around it. B and the crew were eventually going to find out that I'd flown the coop, so I might as well get it over with. Wasn't expecting much of a welcome, since I sure as hell didn't deserve one. Not to mention they'd had their own share of shit to deal with. We did get newspapers in prison, and for whatever reason, I always checked the obits, which get their own damn section in Sunnyhell, so I knew about Joyce. Must've been rough for B and the junior Summers.

I stopped suddenly as I found myself outside the Summers place way sooner than I'd expected. Or maybe I'd just been lost in thought. Those thinking muscles get a lot of exercise in prison, where that's about all there is to do all day. Taking a deep breath and running my fingers through my hair, I raised my hand to knock on the door, paused, and let my fist hit the wood.

The deep breath whooshed out of me as, anticlimactically, no one answered. Well duh, Faith, it's the middle of the damn morning. Other people have lives. Frustrated, I sat down on the porch to wait.

((Open to Buffy and others whenever they get back to the house.))
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England [06 Jul 2005|12:42pm]

It was nice to be home again, even under these circumstances. I brought Willow here to not only learn from the coven, but to find her true self again. And hopefully help her understand that the magic is a part of who she is now, good and bad. That in all things, there is a balance. Something I had to learn a long time ago.

I rode my horse through my Devonshire property, and marveled, just a little, at the differences in beauty between Southern California, and England. The changes were many, yet both places were home. Though I was not to return to Sunnydale. At least, not for sometime. Willow, on the other hand, was to leave tomorrow.

I decided to ride down toward the coven, and see if Willow was about. They promised to teach her, but it was my job to "keep her in check", not that she really needed it. What pushed Willow before was grief. What pushes her now, is Willow. And the need to be loved, and return to those that love her. I know she's worried. I know she isn't sure they will be there for her. I believe that there is nothing that could make her friends leave her, under any circumstances. After all, I went back to Sunnydale to save her, though she believed I went to fight her at the time.

As I went down, over the fields, I thought I saw her, ahead of me on the path.

"Willow?" I called out.
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I'm an Adult [06 Jul 2005|12:27pm]

Well, at least, it looks like I'm one. I've got the suit, the car, and the job. What more can a man want? Anya. I pushed the name out of my mind.

Today was a big day. Dawnie was starting school at the new Hellmouth High, and I was working near-by on the library in case any of the old, literal ghosts, came on by. Buffy gave her a phone, and I have one, so we're all connected. It's odd, being the boss. I tell other people what to do. What would Cordelia say?

I have to admit, going over the blue-prints, I found it somewhat freaksome that the new Principal's office was directly over the old library, and so over the opening to Hell! I'm so not going to the zoo this year, not a chance. I don't want to be hyenaized again. Oh god, there better not be a field trip there this year. If there is, Dawnie is going to stay home sick, even if I have to sit on her.

Of course, one thing that kept running through my head (Anya) was Willow. I missed her. I mean, ok, she tried to kill us. But that was the grief. That wasn't her. Or at least, not all her. I mean, who hasn't tried to get their friends killed at least once? She's always been there, for as long as I can remember. And now, she isn't. I can't just call her every night to talk about what's on T.V. Well, not that I could for a while, there was Oz, then Tara, then the magick thing, then Tara again, then trying to destroy us all. But it's the thought that counts. I could have called her up. I still can I guess, but overseas calls? Not as cheap as you might think.

So I wait, and I miss her.

"Hey, Joe!" I yelled down to my Foreman, "Don't know if you noticed, but there are three guys playing dice around the side." Joe grimaced when he looked at me, and went to blister their ears. See, I'm the boss, I don't have to do that anymore.

But, I do stand here, and watch. Help when needed. And worry.
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